alkgd'as;'ooiet

This week and last week we have been reading Frankestien. I was talking to some friends and we decided that the monster in Frankenstein and Grendel are quite alike. Well, at least in the beginning of their lives. Grendel is heavily reliant on his mother in the early stages of his life. So is the monster that Victor created. Victors monster has no mother. Victor left him with nothing. Now, he is confused and lost.

I can not tolerate Victor Frankenstein. I just can not believe that he would create something to feel less alone and then leave it there to figure out things out for itself. It leads the monster to be an even bigger monster due to the lack of guidance. Its just not okay.

            In my research for the seminar I discovered that Mary grew up without a mother. Also, her firstborn child died soon after it was born. She only had one son that actually made it into childhood. Her novels reflect this and her relationships with the people that surround her.

Okay, this blog is going no where. I’m going to analyze a poem now. Hmmm. I choose… 

In a Station of the Metro

The apparition of these faces in the crowd ;

Petals on a wet, black bough.

— Ezra Pound

I know that we have discussed this, but after working on my poetry notebook I notice so many new things. I was looking up Ezra Pound for my poetry notebook and I suddenely remembered this poem. I looked up an article on modern American poetry website and I saw an entry from pound about being in France and getting off of the metro at La Concorde and seeing so many beautiful faces and not knowing how to express this. “And so, when I came to read Kandinsky’s chapter on the language of form and colour, I found little that was new to me. I only felt that someone else understood what I understood, and had written it out very clearly. It seems quite natural to me that an artist should have just as much pleasure in an arrangement of planes or in a pattern of figures, as in painting portraits of fine ladies, or in portraying the Mother of God as the symbolists bid us.” (Ezra Pound) He took a much more visual approach to this poem than he had for any of his others.

I actually really liked Grendel. I think it is interesting how he goes from cynical young Grendel to grown up Grendel. In the beginning he believes “I alone exist” he is the only one. In the end though, he see’s that there are people and they have differences. The Grendel timeline we made in class was really helpful. I loved to see his evolution

Well, since I talked about Grendel a lot in my last blog, I want to to talk about my choice novel, “the Memory Keepers Daughter” It was so symbolic and true. I think it should replace the awakening because it tells a similar story. Also, it is much more familiar and recent. It is much more relatable. I find it hard to read a novel dated so far back to where the novel is far back  in time.

I really liked my choice novel this week. It was sort of like the awakening because the main character Norah trusts her husband and she is betrayed by him. He tells her that their baby girl has died.  Actually, he just did not want to accept that Pheobe had downs Syndrome. It was not very easy to deal with in the 60’s. Norah does not let it go like David wants her to. Just like in the Awakening when Edna does not listen to her husband. Instead she roams free. As does Norah. Norah and Edna both do not know how to handle their grief and loneliness that they both have affairs and exclude themselves.

Caroline and Pheobe are a match made in heaven, Though they are completely different. They understand each other. Pheobe reminds me of a little bit of Grendel and a little bit of Edna. Pheobe is like Grendel in the way that she see’s everything with such simplicity. She is also a bit like Edna because she wants to stray away from what she is supposed to do and how she is supposed to live. She does not want to live like every other person with Downs. She wants to get married and have a family. She has a job and a place to live. She does not understand why she can’t live like everyone else.

This novel was beautifully written. It displays a modern day take on the roles and expectations of men and women. This story starts out in the beginning of the 1960’s and progresses to the late 80’s. It is a wonderful story of truth and discovery.

mondays blog.11/21

Today in the seminar we talked about the relationship between Grendel and Beowulf, As well as Grendel and the dragon. Camily said something about Macbeth and noble mentioned the bear. We talked about whether or not Grendel is good or bad. He is doing things for himself that help him survive and the humans are doing the same thing.  The problem is that what Grendel does to help himself might be a problem for the humans and vice versa. It is not that they harm each other, they do, but it is also the fat that they do not help each other. They have different definitions of good and bad.

Also, some people were conflicted as to whether or not they liked Grendel. I like him. He is childish and naïve. He has this nihilistic idea that teenagers mostly have. He even says “I alone exist” He is also fatalistic to because he believes that the world is meaningless and mechanical. A fatalist believes that there is no purpose and that the world hates them As if the world was a being but it is not.

Grendel says “poor Grendel had an accident” and then says “so may you all”. Grendel is quietly letting the world know that they might mess up to. They should not follow the same path that Grendel took. He is subtly warning them that the way he was living was not the right way, but also hinting that there is no right way. He was defeated. He can not go back now.

My Grendel bible is completely destroyed. I think you would be really really proud of me. (While I was writing that I spelled really wrong, so I guess you would not be proud of me.) hhhhmmmm. There are messy notes all over it and all over the pages in the back of my book with all of the faces. My friends think I am crazy because of how many notes I take for each topic and discussion. This is usually when I inform them that AP Lit is for nerds and we are all nerds. Why don’t we just take our notes and bring out the nerd that lives within all of us.

I’m really excited to finish my outside reading book. I LOVE READING. On Friday night my friend and I spent three hours in Barnes and Noble and we both ran to our favorite books. He ran to “to kill a mockingbird” and then I told him that he is a nerd. I, of course, went straight to Beouwulf! Haha no. Just kidding. White Oleander, paper towns, and One Flew over the Kukoos Nest are my favorite books. Gosh why do you make us so nerdy? I spent my Friday night  at a bookstore… oh my.

I am...

The other day one of my friend excitedly told me that it is almost Christmas and my response was “OH MY GOODNESS. COLLEGE CRAP IS DUE SOON. I’M GOING TO DIE. WHAT IF I DON’T GET IN?” Later that day, my mom asked me how my job was going. As usual, I complained about how much working stinks. Oftentimes I forget about the possibility that maybe the world isn’t out to get me. I guess you could call me a fatalist. I seem to always come to the conclusion that everyone is going to be defeated and fail. Everything is trying to fail me. I believe that the fate of man is eventual despair and failure. Sometimes I think I’m one of the biggest teenagers ever. I am always negative. In Grendel, I have noticed that he is a bit like this too. For example when he sticks his middle finger up at the sky and when hoe doubts practically everything he comes near.

 I always see the negative side. I am a pessimist. I think it is because I crave the truth. My outlook has been shifting lately though. I have been a small group leader for a couple months now and as I am teaching those kids, they are teaching me. I’m starting to lean more towards determinism, or the belief that everything happens due to some other previous event. If you think about life in that way it becomes very truthful. Everything that happens occurs for a reason. God does not face you with a challenge that is meant to defeat you.

I’m learning that maybe my negativity is just over exaggeration of the truth. Maybe I see things this way so I can change the views if others and shed a more positive light in people’s life. I like to call myself an artist and a person. But I do not think that is possible. Artists are weird and usually negative. But hey, if I can use it to help others then that is wonderful. Maybe I’m supposed to use all of this random talent that god has given me and make it art or at least something. Use all of this to my advantage and benefit others. I think I am supposed to take my disaster and make it art.

Milk, Funerals, and Murder

Today during the seminar, we talked about Beowulf.  What will happen now that Beowulf is no longer living? Is Wiglaf going to be the next hero? Is it possible for the society to be peaceful again? Is there a new dragon? As I said in the seminar, I believe that Wiglaf will be the next ruler. Beowulf set forth a good blueprint for how things should go in the future. Everyone honored him. He was trusted keen, kind, and brave. They valued that. At the end of the poem, Wiglaf is leading Beowulfs funeral. He is saying all of the nice words and the powerful phrases about him. This is significant because it foreshadows the possibility of Wiglaf leading the Geats in the future. Woah! I am watching White Oleander and I just realized that Allison Lohman plays Ursula in Beowulf the movie! How strange. White Oleander is a beautiful novel by Janet fitch. You would be proud pf me. I go on youtube and tell people to stop watching the movie and go read the book because it is so much better as the book. It is so incredible because it is worded so beautifully. I have read it several times and each time I just casn not put it down. It never fails to leave me wonderstruck alone in my room. It always takes me away and I get so lost in the story. Oh wow. I am thinking about it again. Crap. Anyway, What I am trying to say is that Beowulf has well trained his people to survive. They have everything they need. They just have to follow in his example.

What got me most about the poem was the biblical references to the story of Cain and Abel. It was an interesting connection in my opinion because Cain is compared to Grendel. In Genesis 4:1-16 Cain kills Abel and tries to say he did not but Grendel kills everyone. Cain was the first murderer but Grendel is not. I think it was a good connection and thought, but I just think that it was not completely suiting. Cain says to the lord “My punishment is greater than I can bear.” I am positive that Grendel does not feel that way until .5 seconds before Beowulf grasps him just a little too tightly. Cain regrets his actions really quickly and he is not a a threat to others. The main thing the two had in common was that it was not acceptable to kill in their societies. In Cain’s society, it had not really been thought of and in Grendels society; they had a strict culture with rules and ways of doing things. In both of these people’s cases, they started something terrible, murder, war, and disorder.

Something

This time of year always reminds me of the past. I remember the times when I would walk door to door asking for candy.  This year my friends and I put together a haunted house. Each kid was not a princess, witch, or superman this year. My AP Lit brain has taken over. Something inside me kept saying “analyze that character” and “look into the costume.” When I did that there were stories and views on life that had to be assumed. When I saw a princess I had to think of Cinderella and the psycho-analysis we did in class. Thanks Ms Clinch.

Friday’s seminar really got me thinking. At one point we were talking about whether or not Edna was a good mother. I believe she was because her kid’s life is probably a lot better and less stressful without her. She would have caused them to not have that mother figure they desire at such a young age and when you know your mom just does not want that it would be almost impossible to be okay with yourself. Also, she would have caused them to worry about her later on in life. She is not the mother figure that is helpful. It is definitely horrible to have a mother alive that is not present or caring for you instead of have a dead one, especially if the expectation of a mother was to provide for the children.

Poetry notebooks excite me. Today I read “Fairyland” by Edgar Allen Poe.  I really liked this line

“Again- again- again-

          Every moment of the night-

          Forever changing places-

          And they put out the star-light

          With the breath from their pale faces.

          About twelve by the moon-dial,

          One more filmy than the rest

          (A kind which, upon trial,

          They have found to be the best)”

What sticks out to me most about Poe is his ability to ad style and a sense of discovery through simply the structure of the poem. The way he uses repetition really adds the main idea of the poem. The dashes like the ones at the end of dial faces light and so on indicate a pause in between the two lines of the poem. The parenthesis at the end of this stanza that explain the previous description capture what that part of the poem was aiming to portray.

 I just love poetry. Poets amaze me with just about everything. I like the way they have a gift to go off such a small personal Idea and make it bugger. Everything they want to say can be explained in a couple of words on a page. Poets are lovely artists.

Music

My friend Ally Rhodes released an album on itunes today. So. I’m writing this blog 

in honor of her. One of the songs on her album is called gray it is about a lost love

 that she wishes were still happy and flowing. This song talks about how she

 wishes she “were still [his] favorite song” and that regardless of how long it’s been 

that she has not “faded to gray”. She sings that she notices “ashes where there used 

to be a fire” meaning that she see’s a loss of interest where there used to be flames 

and passion. Desire. Then she wonders if it was her that “smothered” his “glow”. 

Usually, when someone smothers the glow of a fire the light goes out and the night ends. 

I think this is saying that she feels she ended the relationship, killed the spark. 

One of the verses is 

“I keep putting words on paper

Throwing melodies to the wind

Maybe I can bring you back

With the things that drew you in

I keep putting words on paper

Throwing melodies to the wind

Maybe I can bring you back

With the things that drew you in”

When she says “Throwing melodies to the wind” she is hoping that somehow he will hear her again or that the melodies she sings with all the things he loves will draw him back in. this part of the song is repeated to show importance and desperation towards his return.

“I know it's quite the imposition

But if you had seen my condition

I think you'd understand why I couldn't stay

I hope i'm still your favorite song”

Right here she talks about how she knows it was a burden how it ended but she hopes he understands. If he had seen her in the state she was in he might have understood that she did it for him.

The timed writing today about the student and the teacher reminds me of this song because of the line that said

“Over this damp grave I speak the words of my love:
I, with no rights in this matter,
Neither father nor lover.”

Because in the song I feel that she is not quite sure of the state of their relationship.. Is she still his favorite song? And in the poem he questions what he was to Jane. He was not her father no lover. He had no recognition at the funeral or on the “tombstone”. He was not her anything. And he is just one of the people grieving. He wont get kind words “sorry for your loss” because to him, she was simply a sparrow. And to her he was just a teacher.

music

This weekend I went to Kansas City to visit the Art institute there. It was beautiful. It was weird though because as odd as it sounds I kept thinking about “the Awakening” in sort of a more personal way. For example, when my plane took off I definitely was imagining the same feeling Edna felt when she escaped into the water. Sure, it wasn’t as freeing as water, actually being cramped in the plane was quite the opposite, it was still leaving a town I was so tired of being. Kansas City Art Institute was, to an extent, my sea. With its emerging art and galleries, studio space, shopping, and its power and light district it was defiantly and awakening for me. Edna realized that she didn’t like how everyone in her town just followed the typical relationship between men and women. She experimented with different behaviors and ideas. Her society did not agree so she left. Now, I’m not saying that Alpharetta is not wonderful and a good place to live. But I crave variety and learning from others. So when I walked into Kansas City and saw all the different artists and types of buildings and all of this thriving art I loved it. It was like a form of medicine. I needed that inspiration and now, coming back here, I’ve realized that I love weirdos. You know, those people that Alpharetta people see and automatically think “oh no… don’t talk to them.  They look freaky.”  Those are my people; kind, good-hearted weirdo’s who all have some communal goal.

I feel that Edna’s awakening was the same type of thing. She hated the way Adele just catered to her families every need and how, like every other female, she was expected to have a perfect dinner ready and take care of the kids as the husband just goes out all of the time. It is like how in Alpharetta or just high school in general there is so much pressure to excel in math and science and art is sort of just skipped over. Seeing an art school made me realize that what I do is indeed important and that was extremely comforting. I think Edna was trying to find the comfort or freedom in not being tied down.

Also, on the plane I tried to read Love in the time of cholera. It was terrible, mostly because I do not like ooey- gooey love. Can you suggest a super depressing book please? Something raw or painstakingly heart breaking?

oh right.

So far in the awakening I have noticed a great deal of talk about the sea. It seems that the sea is where Edna ends up when she is longing for freedom. Whenever she needs relief from the reality of the Grand Isles vacation spot and lavish gatherings she looks towards the sea. In chapter six the sea is described as “sensuous, enfolding the body in its soft, close embrace.” Edna feels this way about the ocean and it shows in many instances where she escapes reality.

            In chapter ten, Chopin talks about Edna’s desire to learn how to swim. I think that this is symbolizing that people who can “swim” are happy and people that are not able to swim, like her, are not free. Free meaning happy. Edna later learns to swim and feels so much freer and I think this connects to her obsession with the sea. The moment she stepped foot in the water “A feeling of exultation overtook her, as if some power of significant import had been given her to control the working of her body and her soul. She grew daring and reckless, overestimating her strength. She wanted to swim far out, where no woman had swum before.” Clearly, the sea makes her feel powerful even in such a vast scary place. She even looks back at the shore and thinks of her strength and what she has overcome in being different than society. She then feels a close encounter with death as she keeps her gaze on the people at the shore and how far she is. I think it is important that she notices how far she is and feels that encounter with death after she looks back at the people. I think this is much more than her just looking back at her friends. I think is is representative of her looking back at all the changes she has made and how different she is for wanting to be different and full of free thought. I think it is Edna wondering what people might think of her.

            “The water of the Gulf stretched out before her, gleaming with the million lights of the sun. The voice of the sea is seductive, never ceasing, whispering, clamoring, murmuring, inviting the soul to wander an abysses of solitude. All along the white beach, up and down, there was no living thing in sight. A bird with a broken wing was beating the air above, reeling, fluttering, circling disabled down, down to the water." The bird imagery is ‘setting up s picture that displays a free thing being not so free and failing at the sight of Edna’s freedom. The bird falls down into the terribly large trap. What is the brids trap is also Edna’s freedom.

            Re-reading this book I have noticed soo many more quotes and important things that I didn’t notice the first time I read it. I think I actually kind of like the book the second time around. It is magically tolerable this time around. J

Cinderella, Windows, and Taylor... Oh my!

I never really knew how much work gets put into a piece of art, a play, or a concert. I have always just figured it happened. When I was little my mother took me to a version of Cinderella at the Startime play theater. I loved it. The set was beautiful painted and the actors and actors were amazing. I thought they were the coolest people ever. Looking back on that know I am realizing how much effort the writer must out into a fairytale to make it magical and still have a meaning. Maybe it was not supposed to be magical but actually the opposite. I mean if it were just pretty, it would not mean anything. Maybe it is also meant to be seen from a psychological lense. That way the viewer gets a bigger idea out of the story or play. When you are a child you are charmed with her kindness to the animals and the fairytale love she gets to pursue. When you are a kid you wish your feet could slide into the glass slipper. That is what I always thought. But then, your lit teacher senior year has you read the story and analyze it using psychoanalysis. That magical idea of pumpkin carriges and prince charming is overridden with the idea thst Cinderella probably has a desire for a man in her life because she grew up without one. And that she hopes to be loved because she had such an abusive life. Its ironic really, how she had such a terrible childhood and is still nice to everyone.

            Last year when we read A Raisin in the Sun we paid so much attention to detail. I really think we talked about window symbolism for at least thirty minutes. At the time I though it was really weird to spend so much time talking about a window. Set design is so important to the entire meaning to the play, concert, or story. This weekend I went to the Taylor Swift concert. Most concerts I have been to have been just the artist on stage singing their top hits. Taylor changes that. She uses set design to make the song have a greater effect. During one song there were acrobats, another had fireworks, and the best thing was when she flew. During her song love story, a “Romeo and Juliet” type story, a nice caslte balcony starts moving through the arena. Everyone watches in anticipation as this balcony continues to make its way towards the stage. As it lands on the stage, Taylor pops out in a white dress and steps onto the balcony. Two girls on the stage watch her as she flys off into the crowd while singing love story. It was very effective. It makes you think more about what she is trying to say.

Sure, flying into the air does not actually change the meaning of the song, the set design can not overpower the words, and one tree or window won’t make or break the play, but each of these things dramatically changes the way you see it. Any form of art takes time and effort. I just always through plays came easily once they were already written.

WOOHOOO! GREYS ANATOMY

I was watching Grey’s Anatomy yesterday and I could not help but analyze every bit of the episode. I never realized how intentional every single aspect of a t.v show or movie is. The set designers plan every single decoration and placement. The wardrobe people pick clothing and makeup based on   The episode “free falling begins with Meredith waking up to Zola’s cry. She looks over to the person next to her in her bed and it is Christina, Her best friend, instead of her husband, Derek. She and Derek have been fighting due to Meredith screwing up his clinical trial. The bed scene displays the awkwardness of their relationship. Then about twelve minutes later the chief pulls Meredith into the office and fires her. She goes to tell Christina and the others. The scene takes place at the emergency care place where the ambulances rush patients in. There are red flashing lights, screaming people, and a mutilated body just helplessly lying there. I think that the red lights and the screaming people are meant to build on the feeling that Meredith is panicking, lost, and scared. The dead body is how she feels after she has lost what has been her whole life for so long.

Then in the next scene, the surgeons are on location at a huge disaster on the road. There is a giant hole in the road and a couple is dying down there. The husband has to amputate his wife’s own leg. The doctors suggest that the unqualified man cover up his wife’s face while he cuts off her leg, reminding me of how Meredith is losing key parts of her with Derek’s severing of her job. Also, it could be seen as the mad being medicine and the leg being the hospital. What remains is “new Meredith” sans hospital. When the amputation is done. The man is lifted up out of the sinkhole.  

 The cause of all of these traumas is a giant sinkhole. There is a child that fell down into the sinkhole. He ends up buried in the dirt. That to me represents the newly arisen issues Meredith’s adopted baby will have to face. But also, the sinkhole represents everything in Meredith life just slipping away, Her sanity and her family is slipping away.

The director, writer, and the actors all have to work together to create imagery and strength in the symbols and motifs. From this episode of Grey’s Anatomy, I have discovered that no book or movie is simply a plot line. It is not just a funny story or something to entertain. These books and movies that we have come to love are wonderful pieces of artwork. They are full of intention.

How am I going to name all of these?

This week we talked about how hands and sophistication go hand in hand. We discovered that certain words are used continuously throughout the stories to show unity and shifts in the characters feelings and actions. The word “hands” was used a lot as well as woman and man. Alone, death, and dream were used frequently too. In the series of stories, there is definitely the whole gender roles thing taking place in these stores. What I noticed most was that the characters were all so alone. I remember the part where Alice runs naked and freely through the rain. Alice, in this moment, represented the “young” of the stories. She was wild and free. Happy. When she entered the house again she was faced with “the fact that many people must live and die alone, even in Winesburg” In Winesburg, everyone is alone, even with the town of people surrounding them. The whole “city” is secluded. They have all those people but its all to close to change and develop. They are lonely because they have been with the same people forever. It can take a persons entire lifetime to get out. Once they do, they are just like everyone else. Tom talks about how he had seen many Georges “go out of the towns to the big city” By this, he means he has seen many people full of ambition get out but he’s thinking – How many of them actually succeed?

In Sophistication, at the end of the story it says “Man or boy, woman or girl, they had for a moment taken hold of the thing that makes the mature life of men and women in the modern world possible.” I see a shift in the usage of man and boy and woman or girl. There never was man and woman. There was always boy and woman or girl and man. Andrea pointed this out and I just wanted to elaborate because I hadn’t noticed this the first time around. I think here is where men and women are seen completely equal. Like they are just one beautiful thing, not two separates.

In the seminar we were talking about Wing being a molester vs. Wing as a Christ figure. I feel that he is more of a Christ figure because of that passage where he is picking up crumbs and kneeling near the light. I do not think that when he touches people’s heads it is meant to be uncomfortable, I think he means it to be quite the opposite. I think it is supposed to bring forth a sense of security and comfort.  He’s a teacher just like Jesus. He tells kids to prosper and that it is too late for him but it is not too late for them. He wants the best for the kids. Indexing has really helped me see how carefully writers choose their words. It compels me to experiment with it some in poetry and short story.

                                                                                                   

Song!

So, this week I felt like talking about a song. This is a strange song so I must tell you I’m not crazy first. It’s a song called “9 crimes” by Damien Rice.

“Leave me out with the waste,

 This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place

To be thinking of you

It's the wrong time

 For somebody new
It's a small crime

And I got no excuse”

When she says “leave me out with the waste” she is saying she’s not worth the relationship. Then she continues on with the idea that he doesn’t usually act this way. She feels that it’s the “wrong kind of place” to be thinking of him, But that it is also the “wrong time for somebody new”. I think this is her saying that it is right but it isn’t at the same time. I think her ideas and feelings are conflicted. Also, she is questioning everything.  Because in the next verse she says

 “And is that all right, yeah?

 give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that all right, yeah?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it?”

Here she is questioning what is right. She asks if it is okay if he gives her “gun away when it's loaded”. I do not think he means that in a literal way. I think this part of the song begs the question “is it okay to give something up when it carries that much weight in each others lives.” He is wondering how he is supposed to feel and make it work if she does not even attempt to try. Their relationship is like a loaded gun, it’s full of power but at the pull of a trigger it could be all over. I also think the last part could mean that maybe she doesn’t want to be the one that ruins the relationship so he is like is that alright if I “give my gun away when it is loaded” like give away the thought and power to ruin it but not actually ruin it. Leave that for someone else. I think they are both questioning the relationship.

            The next part of the song is his voice and it says the same thing except instead of “thinking of you” it says “cheating on you”. I think here they are still questioning each other. He says it’s the wrong time to be cheating on her and she says it’s the wrong time to be thinking of him. I think they are both full of doubt. Then the song continues on to say.

“It's the wrong time she's pulling me through
It's a small crime and I got no excuse
And is that all right?

If I give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that all right, yeah?”

Here he is saying she is helping him through it. And he feels that what he did is a small crime. I think he means that compared to their powerful relationship the other girl meant nothing. The rest of the song is all of their voices and questions all combined together. The song ends full of question. In the video, the girls face is in pieces and he looks at her in awe, as if he hoped it wouldn’t end.

This week we focused on close readings. I learned that authors deliberately place words and quotations where they are for specific reasons. For example, in the novel “Paper Towns” by John Green there is a quote that I absolutely love that says "Here's what's not beautiful about it: from here, you can't see the rust or the cracked paint or whatever, but you can tell what the place really is. You can see how fake it all is. It's not even hard enough to be made out of plastic. It's a paper town. I mean, look at it, Q: look at all those culs-de-sac, those streets that turn in on themselves, all the houses that were built to fall apart. All those paper people living in their paper houses, burning the future to stay warm. All the paper kids drinking beer some bum bought for them at the paper convenience store. Everyone demented with the mania of owning things. All the things paper-thin and paper-frail. And all the people, too. I've lived here for eighteen years and I have never once in my life come across anyone who cares about anything that matters." You can not even begin to pick just one this to love about this passage. It’s all beautiful- from the paper towns to everything that matters. Now, how he can describe how a place is un-beautiful in such a beautiful way is beyond me. But, the way he points out all the ugly things being beautiful is, to me, the most interesting thing. By using short sentences and repetition John green captures the mood that Margo and Quinton are feeling that all of this is so obvious and urgent to be noticed. Most of the emotions I felt in the novel weren’t felt through the plot but through the poetic wording and phrasing. When he says “All those paper people living in their paper houses, burning the future to stay warm.”  He is saying that everything is a system, a mold, everywhere; everything's enslaved by time, by deadlines, by concrete goals, and by tradition. Its normalcy, status quo,  and cookie cutter people. They think “don't-screw-up-or-try-anything-different, everything's-been-laid-out-and-that's-how-it-is-and-should-be” It's so stiff. When he says “all those paper people living in their paper houses” its his way of saying that everyone in the town is the same and they all live in these seemingly perfect houses with perfect families that are actually ready to crumble. “I've lived here for eighteen years and I have never once in my life come across anyone who cares about anything that matters." Basically that quote sums up the entire book  John green is really really good at saying what he means indirectly and straightforward at the same time. I think it is truly amazing how a writer can be so cautious and deliberate of what they say. It like every single word and period is deeply thought about. I really like close readings but mostly because I’m obsessed with words. Oh yea, and books. Books are wonderful.

So you say I can write about anything relating to what we’ve talked about lately. I am not sure if this relates to now but I think you will appreciate this. Yesterday my friends and I want to the high museum. We lamely sat at a poetry slam, which turned out to be not so lame. Andrea was there. We drank coffee and analyzed poetry just as you would. It was all amazing. Then I found a thing in my pocket that said “Caution: May contain small parts. Not for children 5 and up. May be life threatening.”  I considered going up to the mic and reading that as a poem secretly hoping that you were there and could turn it into something of poetic value. That you would come up with some elaborate meaning about how life is made for the big things or that little kids are not ready, or too ready. You’d find a meaning for the colon and you would have annotations all over the paper. Like last year with that poem about the Metro station by Ezra Pound.

But, on a more serious Blog-worthy note, while I was at the high I saw this horse sculpture and I was super mad when I thought about all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put Humpty back together again. Though, I will say me picturing an egg on the sculptures back did make the piece more interesting. Not just because the picture in mt head was cool but because It made me think of how we live thinking we will be the ones to help people back into one piece but somehow it always ends up being the opposite scenario. I think it is interesting how people think they are the strong ones who have the world in their hands but really it’s the world that has us and we’ve just got to hold on. Willie thinks he’s the one helping everyone but while he is trying to do that everyone is helping him. I guess it is just one never-ending cycle, like many things.

Dear Ms Clinch(last blog!),

The Harlem renaissance was a time of great cultural and artistic growth. The music and arts got much more popular especially what the African Americans produced. It was also respected a bit more by both cultures. There were great musicians such as Louis Armstrong and poets such as Langston Hughes who wrote “A Dream Deferred” about what happens when you loose a dream? “Does it fester like “A raisin in the Sun?”-or does it explode?” This line of the poem was the basis for the great play “A Raisin in the Sun” by Lorraine Hansberry that debuted on Broadway in 1959. Her life was similar to the family in the play. This play was the first time that African Americans had leading roles in a play. It broadened broadways fan base. Another main topic this semester was the great depression and the roaring 20’s. We read a novel called The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. In this novel all the characters are careless and wealthy. They are just livin’ it up with all the wealth. There is east and west egg and the valley of ashes that separates society and represents the social standings and the types of people and how they act. All of these literature and historical movements are represented through the books we have studied. Through reading these books I have not only grown in my abilities but I have also learned about the progress of America through so many different peoples point of views. Whether it is twain, Fitzgerald, Hughes, of Hansberry I can be sure that I am going to get some sort of interesting cultural insight. So, with this being the last blog I feel that I must say some parting words. First off, thank you for being a great teacher and helping my mind grow. Also, thanks for making the class interesting for a change. Second, you are the best grammar teacher I have ever had. Usually I fail everything we do with it each year. My mom was pleasantly surprised with my grades on those. YOU ARE AWESOME!!! I hope I get you for AP lang :)

Beneatha

From what we have read in "A Raisin in The Sun" we have come familiar with Beneatha, Ruth, Walter, Mamma, and Travis. Travis is Walter and Ruths young boy that is being sheltered form the harsh reality of money struggles  and tough times. Walter and Beneathas mother is named Lena but everyone calls her Mamma. Beneatha wants to be a doctor and Walter wants to own a liquor store. Mamma has money and the whole family is curious as to what Mamma will do with the money. Beneatha is youthful and invisible or so she thinks. She is beautiful. She is pretty headstrong. She knows what she wants and she aims to get it. The one she is not sure about is love. She is interested in Joseph Asagai and George Murchison. Joseph is her love interest from school and he has come back from Nigeria. From all this I feel like I show the most interest in Beneatha because she is complex and outspoken. So far she has not really let much get in her way. She is highly feminist. She is upset and feels outnumbered because the rest of her family does not feel like she can succeed in the doctor world and workforce. You can she her start to stand up for herself in scene one. She wastes no time trying to get what she wants. I am really really excited to see what she has to say in the scenes to come in the future.

YOU'RE REALLY ASKING ME TO PICK A FAVORITE POEM??? WHAT?

Before I write this I just need to say. Thank you for not being a sucky teacher and having us read poetry that actually means something. I could write about Shel Silverstein and say the jump rope poem is my favorite like everyone says, but that would be lying. I like poems with meaning and several different meanings and interpretations like poems from poets such as Henry Longfellow.. My favorite poem of all time, thanks to you, is “A Psalm of Life” by that Longfellow guy. Seriously. Almost everyday the line “Art is long and time is fleeting” -pops into my head like clockwork. It reminds me to just live because "there is a lot of art in the world, and only a short amount of time to discover it." Meaning don’t let things tie you down there is so much left to see. Though the whole poem is beautiful, my favorite stanzas are these two.
Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !

 I always think about this poem and how it totally changed my views on everything. I used to be negative. Now I aim to be positive. I try to be a light in others lives instead of being the dark. It reminds me to live and grow no matter what the struggle may be. I need to live a happy meaningful life.  My life has changed, thanks t this poem. So yea, I’ll admit it- I’m a nerd  and I like poetry.

poetry

Before you even tried to convince us that poetry is awesome, I was already convinced. I think poetry is a beautiful art form that often gets overlooked and skipped. The fact that a poet can say so much in just a few lines is completely amazing. It’s like a photograph or a painting. It can tell a meaningful story with such a small palette. Poetry is not like a novel that has three thousand words to get the point across. A painting has a person’s first glance to catch the viewer’s eyes, a photograph has on image, and a poem has a couple lines. Anything that can say so much out of so little is absolutely wonderful.

“There pipes the woodlark, and the song-thrush there
Scatters his loose notes in the waste of air.”- Thomas Gray

This poem could just be saying literally what ut says or it could be saying something far more. I think the poem is saying that each animal has its contribution to society but not every contribution is ever actually seen or heard. I could be wrong. You could be thinking something else. But hey, that’s why poetry is so beautiful. Everyone sees it differently.

The idea that so much can be said in just two lines is far more amazing than I can even describe. I really really enjoy poetry. Hi! My name is Marie Krikorian and I actually like when my teachers teach poetry! – I’m a dork J If liking poetry means being a dork, then I am proud to be a dork.

Great?

Why is Gatsby great? At first glance Gatsby seems to have it all. Then after you see that, you look deeper and you see he is flawed. Gatsby was great because he was able to take the life he wasn't satisfied with and create a new identity for himself when he felt like he needed to be someone else. Gatsby's desire to getwhat he wants, his desire to be "great" is so over powering and amazing. He had one goal: daisy, and that's exactly what he got. Well, at least for a little while. He is a closet romantic and people see him as great for that. I mean, hey, he built his life around one girl.
Gatsby is also a really terrible, not-great person too because the way's he goes about reaching his goals and getting the money he needs to live the lifestyle he wants to live are not typically respected ways to do things.  He illegally sells alcohol. I believe he is a pathological liar. He tends to lie about  everything. Maybe its that he just fails to mentions things. I guess that is lying by ommision but whatever. He is a liar. Liars are not good people. At all. Parents and every other sane adult on this whole planet would agree. Liars are not great. Therefore Gatsby is not great. What is great anyway? Does any body really know?

Myrtle

Myrtle is fiery. She is like the bright red flower in a pile of weeds. She lives in the valley of ashes with George. Myrtle is Tom’s lover. Tom is Myrtles lifeless husband George owns a run-down garage in the valley of ashes Red is bold fiery and different. She is the embers of a fire and the light in everyone’s eyes. Myrtles character is short-lived considering she dies in chapter seven but, this does not mean that she will not still be a decent part in the story. I feel that her presence will remain throughout the entire novel. Thought she is not as memorable as daisy, it does not mean that she has less of a powerful presence. Daisy may be known for her beauty but Myrtle is so different and wild that she has an alarming presence to her that leaves everyone questioning her. Myrtle herself possesses a fierce liveliness and desperately looks for a way to improve her situation. Tom only treats Myrtle as something desirable to look at just like daisy. Except for daisy, men are attracted to every aspect of her beauty from her voice to her toes. I personally think Myrtles character is totally missed in the story and that she deserves a more prominent role. She flies unseen unless you are doing a close study of her like Collette Allie and I. That is how we know exactly what to do for our project and  how we know that a fire fits in pefectley.

In reading The Great Gatsby, so far I’ve noticed…..

From reading the Great Gatsby I have noticed that a book you were assigned in school can actually be one of the best books you’ve ever read. I really like this book so far. I like the way Fitzgerald words the novel. I like the descriptive details and the use of color. My favorite character is Myrtle. I think she is simply complex, if that makes any sense. She is Tom’s lover. Her boring husband owns run-down garage.  She is strong and powerful. Yet, she strangely tends to get pushed around. I feel that because of this she is strong and constantly growing and improving herself. In her eyes, there is always room to improve and try to get the best for whatever situation she is faced with. Nick seems like he is honest.  He knows no other lifestyle. He is non- materialistic and modest - the best type of person you could have around. I think Gatsby is lucky to have Nick as a neighbor. Tom is Nicks guide. He leads him to Mr. Wilson’s garage. This part of the book is really awesome because it is so descriptive about color and setting. It said Mr. Wilson looked gray from the dust of the valley. He is boring and depressed. He fits with the description of gray that you gave us pretty well. I hope this book continues to be as entertaining as I think it is nowJ right now I really just can’t put it down. I spend forever on a page just to make sure I understand every single bit of the story. I read it like it’s the only thing I know how to do. And I analyze it. Every word, every color, and every gesture.

Whats the point of titles anyway?

I feel like instead of talking about lit class stresses everyone will just start complaining. So, props to you for dealing with it. J  This week I am stressed about my math test. I am stressed about the SAT( my dad makes me do a practice test every week. It makes me realize how much I really do not know. My parents are convinced that since I am terrible at math I will not get into college.  Also, I have this huge photo project due Friday using twelve filters. A filter is like using photoshop and turning picture sepia except it takes forever and you can’t just press a button.  Also, there are only four boxes of filters and like 36 people in the class. Then the teacher also said that we have to make a power point that is 25 slides on some alternate process. For example silver gelatin prints, Polaroid prints, and C-prints. It’s just crazy.  On top of that we have the GHSGT’s next week and no teacher seems to realize that that is stressful enough on its own except you. You are a very understanding person. I thank you for that.

I filled up six pages in my art journal just today because it was so stressful. Teachers yell at me but I don’t care because it keeps me from going insane. So if you see me doodling you will know why.

Here’s a list of ridiculous things that are stressing me out at the moment: my phone, Laura, the pencil sharpener, this math problem, my shoes, the fact that my mom made chili for dinner, spoiled people, the cup of pink lemonade next to me that just wont be cold, and the fact that there are absolutely no popsicles in my house.

Naturalism

I have noticed naturalism in both of the stories we have read and done seminars on. I noticed it most in the story about the dog and the man facing the tough challenges of life in a temperature below -50 degrees.  In this story by Jack London, the man and the dog face tough times. The dog always seem s to know exactly what to do in every situation but the man ( who by the way doesn’t even have a name) thinks he is more capable to do anything better than the dog. It basically says that we humans think we are superior to animals and other creatures.  It’s a very naturalist idea that dogs and other creatures don’t need humans and that nature does not care about the human.  At the end of the short story the human considers killing the dog for warmth and food but the dog has a good instinct and isn’t stupid and runs away. Now, the human is left alone to struggle.

Naturalism is also shown in April Showers by Edith Wharton shows naturalism when Theodora goes to the woods beyond the school house and it almost seems like everything is promising for her. But then soon after, the paper is published and the story is not hers. She was so sure her story would get published like Kathleen Kyd’s did on her first try. Theodora got boastful and conceited and then she got a slap in the face. Again, this naturalist belief that “Nature does not care and we are no greater” appears in the short story.

Research!!! :)

So far my research is going well. I am finding lots of helpful sources on Galileo and in real books! Who knew a library could be so helpfulJ I’ve used the Cyclopedia of literary characteristics and found articles by Ernest Hemmingway and Mark Twain about Huck and what all of his actions mean. I also used the TCLC encyclopedias.

One article I found addresses the factuality and lies in Huck’s stories. It talks about the ending and if it is successful or not. It talks about the failures of Mark Twain to “create a final action and a demeanor that will from a readers standpoint justify the credibility and truth” in the novel.

 I am having one issue with my research. Every article is way to long and they make my eyes blurr, they get all black. Then I get really dizzy and pass out. My mom is always wondering what happened because she finds me on the floor by the computer. Please give me tips to find shorter articles. The articles are helpful I just feel like they shouldn’t be sixteen pages each!

Also, my dad is annoying and did not connect the printer after we switched TV stuff and now Harper and I have to sit around and wait for ever for my dad to come home a press some buttons. Just so you know this means, A.K.A, referring to, fix the printer. But that’s okay because Harper makes yummy Chocolate milk. So yea moral of the story is, if I don’t have my sources on Monday it will be because my dad likes IKEA too much to come fix the printer for me and spend lovely father daughter bonding time with me.

You know, he never has time for me. He’s always going on man dates with my mommy’s   best friend’s husband. I think it’s a little weird but whatever, It’s my daddy and I love him.

It was also very difficult to get on to Galileo from home because I had to ask five hundred people what the password is for it until somebody finally knew what it is. Kristin and Alyssa saved me. Thank goodness somebody remembered. I texted Genevieve too, but her suggestion was to practical. She just told me to go to the library like a normal human being.

Research

For my research I chose to write about the change in huckleberry Finn as he changes and grows older. Do his views on what is right and wrong change?  I will also explore his change of beliefs and feelings as he changes.  For example, how he acts in chapter sixteen versus chapter thirty one.  I will do this by explaining literary elements and researching them.

In chapter sixteen he was about to tell on Jim to the men on the shore. Instead, Huck made up a lie to protect Jim without even thinking. In chapter thirty on consciously made a decision with all things on his mind and decided “alright, then I’ll go to hell.” He also said “I might as well go the whole hog.” By this statement, you can tell that he is absolutely sure about what he has decided to do. I do not feel like there is a doubt in his mind. He has discovered that Jim is as much of a person as he is. It is in this moment where I feel that Huck Finn changes the most. I feel that this is the most pivotal point in the story and their adventure to freedom.

Another point I will address is the question “Is it completely possible to be your whole true self in society?” Do they fully achieve freedom? My take on this is that they do not. Yes, the town accepts Jim a bit more but even at the end of the book Huck leaves his homes because people were trying to get him some manners. They wanted to teach him to be right. He said he was not happy and that he was going to move out to another state. I also know that a person can not truly be themselves in society due to personal experiences I have had in my lifetime as I’ve grown older and tried to do my own thing.

Huck Finn

During the Socratic seminar we mainly talked about the controversial language in the novel Huckleberry Finn. Genevieve talked about how we automatically censor our speech when we quote lines from the book. I know that’s because we are not comfortable saying some of the things Mark Twain said in the novel. That is because times have changed.

During the time of this novel they had not been changed. People acted exactly like those people in the story did. Mark Twain wanted the people pf that time period and now to see how wrong that was. He wanted to stand up for the people who were being treated unfairly. The only way to do that is to speak the truth and that is exactly what Twain did. If you alter the book it is like removing truth and history.  If the words were removed and replaced the book would loose part of its essence of truth and unfair treatment. If publishers published new versions of the story, the people who read those versions would probably not see as much of the cruelty Mark Twain meant for us to see. Quite honestly, if I read a censored version of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn I would just see it as a little boy’s adventures out of curiosity. I would just see a strange little boy breaking into bible studies and building rafts and I would completely miss the mob mentality and human cruelty references. If that happened it would totally defeat Mark twains whole purpose and reasoning behind writing the novel.

Hucks Change

In chapter 16 Huck is feeling bad because he helped a slave escape from his rightful owner Ms. Watson. He feels worse and worse as Jim talks the free states and what he is going to do when he gets there. He talks about his plan to earn money to buy his wife and children back. And how they are gonna live free. If he can’t get this family on his own he will get the abolitionists to do it. Huck feels like he has done wrong and contemplates turning Jim but his heart would not let him. He would go to tell on Jim and he’d just make up some lie to protect him. He tells the boat men that the people on the bout are his family member and they have small pox. The men decide not to search the raft and give Huck forty dollars in gold. They send him on down the river.

In chapter 31 Jim is sold and Huck thinks about telling Ms Watson where Jim is so she can get him back and Jim could be home, but Huck soon realizes that Ms Watson would just sell him. Huck writes a letter that says “Miss Watson your runaway slave Jim is down here two mile below Pikesville and Mr. Phelps has got him and he will give him up for the reward if you send.” He thinks “It was awful thoughts, and awful words, but they was said. And I let them stay said; and never thought no more about reforming. I shoved the whole thing out of my head; and said I would take up wickedness again, which was in my line, being brung up to it, and the other warn't. And for a starter, I would go to work and steal Jim out of slavery again; and if I could think up anything worse, I would do that, too; because as long as I was in, and in for good, I might as well go the whole hog.” This is the line where I see the biggest change in Huck. It shows me that he really cares for Jim and he does not care about society’s lame rules. Jim feels just like he does and Jim loves just like any white person does. At  this point in the story Huck just realizes the unfairness of Jims treatment and realizes a man should be allowed to  roam free.